keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
