If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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