Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
