my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
