dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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