i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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