I just cut my nipple shaving
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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