we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize