I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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