when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
