So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
