AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
