i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
