I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The Olympian is in my bed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
