It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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