I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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