I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
