Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
