just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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