Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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