When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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