Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
