I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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