i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
