Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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