there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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