Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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