my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
