i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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