I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
