Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
