I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
