Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
