I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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