i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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