I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
