she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
