i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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