he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
