I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
