I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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