I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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