Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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