I think i peed on brittanys purse
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize