im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
