found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
