We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
