There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
