He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
