so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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