i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize