Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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