Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize