So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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