Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize