Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
