what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
